Relatively Easy Coping Strategies to Add to Your Mental Health Toolbox

I often think of coping strategies as life tools in much the same way a mechanic has sockets to fit each size nut and bolt they might need. Sometimes, we even need multiple of the same size socket, especially the 10mm that always seems to disappear.  In the same way a mechanic can go to their toolbox and select the right tool for the job, coping strategies can help get us through the daily stressors of life. Having an arsenal of coping strategies at your disposal can greatly enhance your ability to cope with whatever life throws your way.  Sometimes, coping strategies are not enough and we need to ask for help from a friend, family member, or professional.  It’s always okay to ask for help and we are stronger together.  Our bodies and minds need care and maintenance just like our homes and vehicles.  Things like getting a good night’s rest, eating a balanced breakfast, and exercise are all tools that help keep our physical and mental wellbeing in top shape.

Most of us likely have a relatively decent handle on ways to help our physical bodies as we hear often about what diet or food is healthy or unhealthy for us, how much sleep and exercise experts say we should strive for etc., but what about our psychological wellbeing?  This one is often a lot more difficult for us as mental health is just not talked about in the same way as physical health is.  Below you will find a few relatively simple coping strategies you can begin to add into your coping toolbox today!

First, a note about coping strategies: Just as no two people are exactly alike, and “one size fits all” usually means “doesn’t fit” you may need to try a few things out to find something that works well for you.  A good rule of thumb is to try something two or three times before deciding to keep or discard it before moving on.  Also, most coping strategies work best with regular use and practice just like someone who regularly engages in cardio will have an easier time running 5 miles than someone that has not done any cardio in recent history.

Without further ado: Three coping strategies to improve your mental wellbeing:

1.      Start (and keep) a gratitude journal.  Most of us struggle to think positively, especially when things aren’t going our way.  Our brain is a muscle and if we spend all our time thinking about negative things, we become really good at thinking of all the bad and negative things that could happen.  However, just as over time we can get really good at thinking negatively, we can also train our minds to think more positively too.  Take a few minutes each day to intentionally think about 3-5 positives such as things you are thankful for, something you like about yourself, are proud of, or maybe someone you are glad to have in your life.   This works best if you write down your items in a place where you can easily refer back to them.  This might be difficult at first, but over time it will get easier with practice.  Additionally, you may find that you start thinking more optimistically without even intentionally trying to.

2.      Practice mindfulness.  Mindfulness has really become a buzz word over the past few years and there are several different definitions that may be in use.  I’m referring to an overall awareness and attention to surroundings, thoughts, feelings, and senses.  A good place to start exploring the benefits of mindfulness is a simple 5 senses exercise.  Before beginning, take a moment and assess how you are presently feeling.  Are you feeling down, anxious, upset? Whatever it may be note this and how intense the emotion is.  In this exercise, you will focus on only what your 5 senses are telling you. It is common to sometimes have difficulty with one or two senses. If this happens, just do your best and move on. Now, try and set that aside for a minute and first begin by focusing on only what you can see around you.  Describe 5 things you presently see in as much detail as feels comfortable.  Next, shift your focus to the sense of touch and again describe 4 things you can touch or feel right now in as much detail as feels comfortable.  Once you have done this, gently shift your focus to hearing and name/describe 3 things you can hear in this moment.  Now, adjust your focus to smell and identify/describe 2 things you can smell.  Finally, move your focus to taste and try to identify or describe 1 thing you can taste. Now, take a deep breath, exhale and once again assess how you are presently feeling.  Has this changed for you in any way?  You might be surprised to find yourself feeling calmer and more at peace after this exercise.  This short and relatively simple exercise can be used in a few minutes when you need a moment to decompress, refocus your thoughts or emotions, collect your thoughts or even switching from one thing to another.  Give it a try!

3.      Music.  Music is something that connects us with others around the globe in a visceral way as music communicates emotion.  Most of us have a favorite song, maybe a favorite group or genre. The Grammys were this past weekend, and while I did not recognize all the artists that won, I was able to appreciate their music and some I quite enjoyed.  There are some songs that seem to elicit happiness in those that listen.  This was evident when Luke Combs invited Tracy Chapman on stage to perform “Fast car.”  You could see the joy and passion on Luke’s face as he sang. “Happy” by Pharrell Williams or “Jump” by Van Halen are difficult to listen to and not feel a little better/happy.  Likewise, there are songs that elicit other emotions such as sadness or longing. In our modern age of streaming, it has become easy to just hit play and not think about what songs we listen to and how they might affect us on an emotional level. However, some readers may remember listening to music on vinyl (and some others likely still do, myself included!).  Listening to music used to be a much more intentional experience where you had to choose the album, dust off the record, place it on the platter, turn on the turntable, and amp, set the input, and gently drop the needle to hear the music.  Then once that side was done playing, it was time to get up, flip the record, or put on a different one. The entire experience of listening to music had to be intentional, and this is something I would like to encourage everyone to start doing.  BE MORE INTENTIONAL ABOUT THE MUSIC WE LISTEN TO! Start noting how you feel when listening to a certain song and start curating a playlist based on moods.  You might want to have a playlist specifically when you are feeling down and want a boost, one that can help calm you down if you are anxious, and maybe one that might connect in you to help you process grief.  As you add to your playlists over time you will have a list of songs and artists that can help you in difficult times. When I’ve had a rough day and just need to decompress, Yo-Yo Ma’s 2007 album “Appassionato” is my go-to.  By the end of the album, I find myself feeling relaxed and ready to take on life’s next challenge. My happy playlist includes songs by Billy Joel, Shinedown, Disturbed, Something Corporate, and more; but what matters is what songs speak to you, not what speaks to me. I invite you to try and listen to music more intentionally so that you can identify songs, artists, or maybe even albums to put on the next time you have a rough day, need a pick me up, or just want to let go of some stress. I promise, if you can identify songs and start doing this you will likely find a benefit.

There are many more things you can do such as get a good night’s rest, eat well, and regular exercise, but I hope these three somewhat lesser-known coping strategies might help you by being things that hopefully you will enjoy and can start doing without spending any money and very little time.

If you feel you need more help, therapy might be a great option to consider.  You can contact me here:

If you are thinking about harming yourself, please talk to someone.  988 is the number for the US National Suicide Prevention Hotline.  If you don’t feel ready to talk you can text or go to the website and start a chat.  You may also want to explore the other resources listed here. Remember, you are not alone, you are valuable and unique!

Hope…Walks Here.

It’s Springtime again. The snow is (or has) melting indicating it’s time to get out and pick up any trash, sticks, or other debris from lawns and sidewalks that have accumulated throughout the winter months. The days are staying lighter for longer and the air is warming up. In Geneseo, we are expected to reach 80 degrees later this week! While for many, things are beginning to look up, this is also the time of high stress for many. Students are nearing the end of the semester, which is always a stressful time, many of us are nearing tax time and anxiously awaiting refunds or dreading making that tax payment. That said, spring is’t all warmer weather, sun and rainbows. It’s also filled with rain, mud, muck, and lots and lots of dog poop.

Spring is also a time of hope! Hope for better days, hope for warmer weather, hope for new growth both outside and within. It’s also a great time to acknowledge mental health is just as important as physical health. Together, let’s talk about mental health, let’s talk about how to find hope and help, about our struggles and our victories. Doing this, can help break the stigma of mental health, and can start a conversation about ways to improve access to care. There are many issues with our current system from limited access to community clinics, poor or no health insurance coverage, low health insurance reimbursement rates, and too few licensed professionals. While, we cannot change these barriers overnight, talking more openly about mental health needs can help drastically. This is partly why I walk each spring for the SUNY Geneseo Out of the Darkness Walk supporting the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP). Please consider walking to support mental health and suicide prevention, donating, or just checking in on friends and family to see how they are doing. Together, let’s normalize talking about mental health.

As always: If you or anyone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please call 988. If you are injured, or in need of medical attention please dial 911.

5 Things to do today if you are feeling down

Are you feeling down or struggling to find motivation to get through the day? Depression can look like struggling to get out of bed in the morning and then tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep at night. It can present as staying home and not going out, but it can also look like getting up, going to work, and then coming home and crashing for the rest of the day. Negative thinking about yourself or the world in general is also another symptom of depression. If any of these things sound familiar to you here are a few things you can start doing today to help reduce depressive symptoms:

1. Exercise. This does not have to be anything spectacular. You don’t need fancy equipment or expensive shoes. Simply going for a walk, or getting up and moving is a great place to start. Regular exercise is not only great for our physical wellbeing, but studies have shown regular exercise is vital to mental wellbeing. Try to get 20-30 minutes of exercise 3-5 times a week, but if that sounds like too much strive for 1-2 times a week. It doesn’t matter where you start as long as you take a step.

2. Think different. Plan about 10 minutes a day to intentionally identify and think about positive things in your life be it an experience, something you accomplished, are good at, or even someone you are thankful is in your life. Try and write down 3 things you are thankful for each day. By being intentional about thinking about positives, we can actually change negative thought patterns over time.

3. Schedule simple activities each day and then give yourself credit for accomplishing them. When I say simple, I mean simple. Did you get out of bed today? Great! Did you shower and brush your teeth? Fantastic! How about going to work or calling a friend? Amazing work and keep it up! As humans, we often do not give ourselves credit for the things we are already doing and doing well. Instead, we have a tendency to focus on the things we did not achieve or look at the long (too long) To-do list and beat ourselves up for not getting more done. It is absolutely okay if you are not as productive as you would like to be, it’s about ensuring you are giving yourself credit for the things you are doing and then once acknowledging all the things you are already doing, if you want to increase you can begin to build from the already robust list of accomplishments you have already achieved. If you are feeling down and can only give about 70% what you normally can give, remember you are giving 100% of what you have to give! Giving yourself credit is a powerful tool.

4. Talk to someone! I can’t say this enough. If you are struggling, then talk to someone and let them know. This can be a friend, a family member or a colleague you trust. If you do not want to discuss your struggles, that’s alright. Instead focus on something else and socialize, but talk to someone. Reach out to a mental health professional, your doctor, or the national suicide prevention hotline. Dial or text 988 on any phone. Additionally, you can also navigate to 988lifeline.org to chat online with a trained representative.

5. Give Jacob a call to see if therapy might be helpful for you! Contact Jacob

New 988 Lifeline is Live!

The new 3 digit number to reach the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is live nationwide. You can still reach a live person using the old number, 1-800-273-TALK (8255) but you can now also just dial 988 from any phone to be connected. Share with friends and family. Remember, It’s Okay to not be Okay. It’s also okay to ask for help.

If you or a loved one is struggling and in need of help, please schedule a consult to see if working with Jacob Studioso, LCSW is right for you.

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5 Things You Can Do To Decrease Anxiety

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by life, or been crippled when trying to make a decision? Chances are, you’ve been experiencing anxiety. Anxiety can present in many different ways such as rapid heart rate, racing thoughts, sweaty palms, chest pain, or upset stomach, to name a few.

So, what can be done about anxiety? Here are five relatively simple things you can start doing today to help reduce symptoms of anxiety.

1. Go for a walk. Exercise and physical activity have been shown to reduce anxiety. Additionally, the physical act of walking from one place to another can often help the mind overcome feeling “stuck.”

2. Deep breathing. Seriously, just taking a moment to focus on your breathing can do wonders. Focus on filling your lungs completely and then slowly emptying your lungs and repeat. If it helps breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.

3. Journal. Journaling can be a great tool for our mental wellbeing. Do this in whatever way feels natural to you, but if you need a place to start, try beginning or ending by writing down positives.

4. Meditate. If you have not tried meditation before, start with a brief guided meditation.

5. Talk to someone. Talking about your worries is often one of the best ways to process and move past worry. If you have been feeling anxious and struggling to manage your worry, reach out to Jacob for a free consultation today! Contact

How a simple phrase can be transformative

I tend to procrastinate. Most days I would rather look at memes, go for a walk, or watch TV then do paperwork. In school, this led to cramming for tests and pulling all nighters to complete a paper or project I had known about for months… Through my inaction, I effectively chose to put it off. I think acknowledging we can choose to do something now, or do it later can help put things into perspective. Once we acknowledge the choice we have, then we can take ownership of our decision which in itself elicits growth and change. But just admitting you have a choice is not always enough. For me, I found a phrase a previous colleague told me that I found transformative. “My future self will thank my current self for doing this now.”

Wow! I must admit, I love helping others, and I love being a therapist… but all the paperwork that goes along with the job I do not enjoy. Not even a little, but I also do not like having a long list of notes to write or a seemingly never ending “To Do” list. This struggle would at times lead to a ping pong effect of putting tasks off, feeling guilty, then anxious as I applied pressure on myself to get caught up. I am positive I am not alone in this. There’s a part of me that would love to avoid tasks I don’t like such as cleaning, or paperwork, but by reframing the “I don’t want to do this” to “My future self will be thankful” helps me change my outlook. Not only does it feel good to not be behind on chores or paperwork, but it also feels fantastic to check a task off my “To Do” list. Maybe a simple reframing could do the same for you.

Dirt is Good for the Soul.

February in Western New York tends to be cold and dreary. The kind of weather that makes it difficult to find the motivation to go outside unless you absolutely have to leave the warmth of your home. Seasonal depression can affect everyone, and it hits some of us harder than others. It can creep up on us when we least expect… even if we do not typically experience seasonal mood changes. To put it simply, depression can affect us all.

Sunlight has been proven to help humans feel better. There’s something about going out on a warm summer day, and feeling the warmth of the sun’s rays on our skin that speaks to us in ways few other things do. It’s like a smile that comforts and warms us from within.

So when life gets you down, or it’s nearly March and it’s snowing yet again while you are still sore from shoveling the last few days in a row (maybe it’s just me, but I somehow believe I’m not alone here), and even when the sun comes out for a few moments, it’s still frigid outside. What can you do? Many people turn to exercise, spending time with friends, or chasing a few minutes of sunlight between meetings or other daily tasks, and these are all great things that can, and will often help. But what else can be done?

How about starting to plan for spring in a meaningful way? If you garden, February is the perfect time to start planning your garden. Order your seeds, organize what you want to grow and where, and maybe even start growing from seeds indoors. Don’t garden, but enjoy flowers? You too can plant some seeds inside in anticipation for spring and warmer weather! Don’t have anywhere to grow outdoors, consider an easy to care for houseplant. If you are up for more of a challenge consider a tropical bonsai tree or orchid. There’s something about getting your hands dirty while planting or caring for a plant that also warms the soul and often brings a smile to your face. Sometimes, it’s as simple as getting a little dirt under your fingernails, because dirt is good for the soul.